When Yells Are Not the Answer: Resolving Family Conflicts

Arguing ParentsConflicts are part of family life. They are inevitable, and no family is immune. Conflicts do bring sadness and pain to all members of the family. However, if managed the right way, they can make you realize what you need to change in yourself for the better.

Focus on the problem, not on the individual.

Stop throwing stones in an argument. Do not call one another names. The Center for Cognitive and Behavioral Health and other family counselors stress that blaming or shaming will only make matters worse. Instead of playing the blame game, focus on the problem at hand. Do not allow the conflict to take over your family.

Always give the benefit of the doubt.

During times of misunderstandings, you need to give your family members the benefit of the doubt. Listen to them every time they explain their side of the story. If you can, try putting yourself in the shoes of the other. Turn each conflict into a conversation. Every time you feel annoyed or frustrated, remember that everyone in the family has his or her bad days, just like you.

Learn to forgive.

With conflict comes hurt, and the ultimate relief for this is forgiveness. The key to maintaining an open and happy family is being able to grant forgiveness swiftly. It means avoiding resentments and the desire for revenge.

Change does not start with others; it begins with you. In this sense, conflicts can be an opportunity for improved communication between family members, a more reliable relationship, and even an improved version of you. You must accept that conflicts are part of life. While you cannot avoid it, you can resolve it or treat it as a gift from life to become better individuals.